Diary of a Shy Creative
Entry One
Hi, my name is Tamra, a shy creative looking to find my voice again. I am writing this not only because of the encouragement of my incredibly supportive boyfriend, but because I need to stop running away from myself.
Not to turn this into a therapy session straight away, but have you ever wanted to do something because you literally know you were made for it but held back afraid that maybe you’ll be wrong? Well that's what a day in the life with me looks like (at least on the days my creativity is actually summoned).
The thing is I love my job, I love that I get to help people and make a difference to someone whilst giving back to a community that truly needs it. That being said I also know deep down that this current job is somewhat of a stepping stone to a future filled with more creative opportunities. In some ways I wish I could speed that process up but also realise that it's a journey that will require me to withdraw from what is familiar and embark on new adventures.
You’re probably thinking that what I just described is simply just life, but for a 23 year old teenage girl (lol) trying to find her way in a noisy world, that is more frightening than it seems. See, the thing is I know I have it in me to create some beautiful things whether it be photographs, written pieces or even graphics but instead I stay on the mainland scared to go out onto the water. I stay because it's easier than trying and falling flat on my face but at the expense of subliminally feeling like I’m made for more.
So, I’ve decided to take a step forward towards the shore. It's a small step but it's a step in the right direction. I hope this will be one of many things I write in the years to come. I want to become the creative lady who worries less about whether her craft will be appreciated and more about ensuring I’ve been able to express myself. Getting myself to write without judgement and without expectations is both uncomfortable and challenging due to my crippling perfectionism, but it most definitely is possible. I mean I'm literally doing it now.
To close this very therapeutic and vulnerable entry, I want to speak to all my fellow shy creatives. Listen carefully when I tell you that as long as you like what you’ve created then that is all the validation you do. Whether people receive it the way it was intended is none of your business. Whatever it is, make it even if the process scares you. As my boyfriend would say - “Do it afraid”.
Sincerely,
The lady with the funky outfits!